My Nerdy Brain
Dear Brain. It’s been a while since we last checked in; we should talk!
So, here’s a bit of a breakdown of what I have learnt about myself and how our brains work over the years. And just for the heads up, I am a visual sensory person. So, if you’ve got this far, you might also recognize something of yourself in here too. Brace yourself though, I like a ‘good yarn’.
We’ve come far, yet recently I think maybe we’ve got a bit stuck in neutral. Our phenomenal brains are like unique smart-devices that control the very basis of our thoughts. It’s a sophisticated mechanism that, when you look closely, actually makes a lot of sense.
Our brain circuitry houses our conscious experiences and our sense of self. Pretty much clarifying the ‘nuts and bolts’ of our past and present. However, sometimes it also likes to hide data and obscure our eyes, which ultimately can steer our futures.
I remember reading once, that investigators often find out all they need to know about a person’s identity by examining the contents of their rubbish bin. That’s always stuck with me, perhaps though, a more hygienic method might be examining the contents of our recycle bin. By simply asking yourself ‘what am I thinking about right now’?
That’s probably not such a silly idea after all.
Recently, our thinking has been more activated, overstimulated, advancing us into warp speed. If you’re not too careful, it suddenly just plonks a wall right there in front of you.
That’s happened to me before (Eek, more than once, if I’m honest). When it did, I had to remind myself to be kind and then rest a little. I tried not to beat myself up or sugar coat why it did that, it is what it is, I just had to figure out, the now what?
I’d donated so much time, energy and probably money getting to that point, I kind of owed it to myself to replicate that mammoth effort getting back.
Our brains are pretty funky really. First up is our Limbic system. It contains two highly reactive drama ‘queens’ called “emotional response” and “sensory regulation”. These stimulate strong sensations, so when that self-talk gets louder, it can become a constant argument in your head. Like major background noise, annoyingly like when siblings just won’t stop fighting.
Speaking of siblings, that Limbic system also has a twin – the Prefrontal cortex – which incidentally has two calm logical ‘teachers’, called “creative thinking” and “problem solving”.
So, what does that all mean?
Well for one thing, our brain ‘parent’ ideally needs to buy a much bigger house. Sadly, though it can’t afford it, plus the council (of ethics!) wouldn’t allow an extension to be built. The bottom line is, they all have to live in that compact space inside our skull, strike a balance and learn to stop bickering, which is of course much easier said than done. Eek now imagine those siblings as hormonal teens!
I digress, Twin A – Limbic System is the dominant twin and gets ‘hangry’ quickly, so their ‘lightning’ reaction demands immediate attention. Twin B though, has slower metabolism, applying logic and waits it out, much like the sun’s calming influence after a storm. Storms rage, but the sun always returns, eventually.
There of course are times when I’ve had to feed Twin A first. However, I do try to get nicer weather by overriding that natural tendency and choose which one I feed first.
I mean who wants that constant headache right?
Ultimately, we should favor Twin B first, which feels clunky and uncomfortable like we are trying to walk backwards into a room. However, when you consider the amount of time you’ve fed Twin A first, it feels like a lot of hard work, right? insert sad emoji. Actually, that’s not always the case!
Spoiler alert! Twin A and Twin B’s sibling rivalry has been concealing Triplet C this whole time ‘who knew?’ (Effective ultrasound…NOT!). Triplet C is literally that ‘pot of gold’ you suspect is at rainbows end. Also weirdly contains ‘librarians’ called “episodic memories” and “memory storage” as hidden golden nuggets in that pot.
On my journey I decided to have a ‘wee’ look inside, I just had to play with those mischievous leprechauns first.
For some people though, Triplet C squirrels away highly charged memories, in a sunken treasure chest right at the bottom of the ocean, the depth of that water is different for everyone. If that’s you, I see you, I’ve had a few of those myself.
To start with, I’d ‘research’, watch the pre-dive video, wet suit up, and even bought expensive gear to do it in. However, when it came to launching off that boat, I found it really daunting.
Eventually, I allowed myself to really let go and stop treading water. In that treasure chest I’ve found profound ‘nuggets’ of insight, and growth. I simply needed to drop anchor, trust the process, and observe its nature. If any of that sounds like you.
I’ll be your diving instructor, with the right equipment to keep you feeling safe.
I really do understand that whilst some wounds hurt more than others; most eventually heal from the bottom up. And that not all of them benefit from ripping the plaster off. And that’s ok.
For some of you though, I am mindful, that reading this could have made you a little uncomfortable, and that’s still ok.
